I’m having a ridiculously busy weekend not helped by the fact that members of my family are watching Beyond Evil (on my recommendation) within hearing distance but I wanted to make a general response to a whole range of comments about Ik-sun in the last episode.
Great essay, thank you for taking the time to write it!
I, too, hope they will work it out, have a fight if needed. And Ik-jun will come to grips with the fact that his oldest friend and partner in most crimes is going to become his brother-in-law, too...
We are our worst enemies, well said! Inspite of Junwan seeing Iksun’s post on her setting up a blind date for Se-gyeong, when she says she has fallen for someone else, his irrational and insecure part of the brain is activated. Yes Iksun is not doing any favour by the noble idiocy. Hoping she realizes that it’s not really helping Junwan by doing so.
My main contention with the Bidulgi couple is that to your point, they have communication problems. Jun-wan only learns of Ik-sun life milestones through other means: 1) he learned about the scholarship from Ahn Chi-hong 2) he learned that Ik-Sun passed her exams through her Instagram post.
If Ik-Jun is the warm and open brother, Ik-Sun is the closed-off sister. She even alluded to this that she and Ik-Jun only talks about things that they both find funny. Ik-Jun also said that Ik-Sun only calls when there's a problem. And for years, Ik-Jun has always thought that Ik-Sun was never in a relationship. This is a character who refuses or is afraid to open her heart.
Ik-Sun falling in love with someone feels to me a misdirect--a version of what you said about being a noble idiot. It was her way of releasing both of them from any hardships and probably stemmed from her being unwell. Ik-Sun, after all, told Jun-Wan in S1 that she only wants happy memories with him.
I also find it unlikely that she fell for someone because this is a character who finds it difficult to jump in a relationship. As Ahn Chi-Hong said, it took her a long time to consider marrying her previous BF and equally a long time before she plunged into a new relationship (with Jun-Wan).
I do as well and that's why despite all the obstacles that seem to have overtaken them, I would like them to give it another go. Especially because Jun-wan wanted it so badly that he broke with his usual pattern.
From a bigger life lesson perspective, there's no really nothing wrong with having to get out of one's comfort zone and learning to be better, more honest communicators. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it should never be attempted. Life is hard for everybody in some form at various times but the right timing is important too.
But I agree that Ik-sun has got her defences up and fears too much vulnerability. To me it's a pity because if these two people can work through their issues there's something good awaiting them at the end of the tunnel. I guess I'm one of those people who don't think that work/career is any kind of substitute for a solid, mutually supportive relationship.
I totally agree with the comments about them. I give them merit that they give it a shot, specially Ik-sun. However, I have a big BUT for them. And it’s the point that Ik-sun never wanted to be married, even with her previous relationship.
This has been bothering me for awhile. I understand that she feels insecure to have a formal/serious relationship due to what she experienced before. Also, that she gave a big step in putting aside her weaknesses or the emotions that a marriage or a relationship conveys.
So, from season 1 I had my doubts on how the relationship Bidulgi was going to work. I give recognize that Jun-wan is a great guy giving her what she needs so the relationship moves forward. And I kind of pity him because he has/had to sacrifice on what he really wants to have in a normal relationship (cherish her not only by memories, marriage, family, etc).
He has to really, but really love her and try to adapt to what she thinks is ideal for her in a relationship.
I have seen cases where spouses have different ideals, goals in a relationship, specially with kids and have serious quarrels because one of the spouses really want to have kids and the other doesn’t.
I know that I’m overthinking things but this is one of the main points that made me that this relationship will have difficulties or it won’t work.
Nevertheless, I hope that they can overcome these hurdles. Specially, Ik-sun because I think that what she decided was not the best choice for them.
No, you're not overthinking things. There's a lot of good common sense in what you say. Honestly I have to agree that it's a tough gig. The foundations are rather shaky and it could be that things won't work out for them because of some of those diverging viewpoints you've highlighted. Besides they're not married with kids so they don't have to work as hard to make it work.
But for Jun-wan's sake, I hope they can negotiate and meet each other half way.
I also hope that Jun-wan might have some happiness with the love of his life without sacrificing much and have a balance with what he wants for his life.
I had been in a relationship where you are more concerned about maintaining peace and harmony and not being honest with each other. I think that's what Bidulgi couple has been. They were technically in a LDR even in Korea. So every moment they spend together whether physically or on the phone, they try to make it a good time. It continues in this pattern when Iksun moved to London - Junwan being too considerate and setting aside his feelings, Iksun too afraid (and perhals also a little self-centred) to fight through anything unpleasant.
But relationships doesn't and shouldn't work like this. For them to come back together, both have to work through these hurdles of communication and being vulnerable with each other. Iksun is facing the biggest vulnerability now with her health crisis. I believe this will be an opportunity for them.
You can sort of understand that on some level too. The time they had together was scarce and precious. Why would they want to waste time fighting or arguing? Especially when they can't be there for each other. But as you say so wisely, they shouldn't fear honesty and being vulnerable if they're equally committed to the relationship.
It is interesting too that all of Jun-wan's fears about Ik-sun's state of health were well-founded. It makes sense because he's a doctor. I was re-watching that scene and she talked about wanting to get out there and see more of the English countryside even while he's telling her to go back to London as soon as she could. It feels like a bit of a wakeup call for both of them.
Great essay, thank you for taking the time to write it!
I, too, hope they will work it out, have a fight if needed. And Ik-jun will come to grips with the fact that his oldest friend and partner in most crimes is going to become his brother-in-law, too...
Love your take on things and your writing too!
We are our worst enemies, well said! Inspite of Junwan seeing Iksun’s post on her setting up a blind date for Se-gyeong, when she says she has fallen for someone else, his irrational and insecure part of the brain is activated. Yes Iksun is not doing any favour by the noble idiocy. Hoping she realizes that it’s not really helping Junwan by doing so.
My main contention with the Bidulgi couple is that to your point, they have communication problems. Jun-wan only learns of Ik-sun life milestones through other means: 1) he learned about the scholarship from Ahn Chi-hong 2) he learned that Ik-Sun passed her exams through her Instagram post.
If Ik-Jun is the warm and open brother, Ik-Sun is the closed-off sister. She even alluded to this that she and Ik-Jun only talks about things that they both find funny. Ik-Jun also said that Ik-Sun only calls when there's a problem. And for years, Ik-Jun has always thought that Ik-Sun was never in a relationship. This is a character who refuses or is afraid to open her heart.
Ik-Sun falling in love with someone feels to me a misdirect--a version of what you said about being a noble idiot. It was her way of releasing both of them from any hardships and probably stemmed from her being unwell. Ik-Sun, after all, told Jun-Wan in S1 that she only wants happy memories with him.
I also find it unlikely that she fell for someone because this is a character who finds it difficult to jump in a relationship. As Ahn Chi-Hong said, it took her a long time to consider marrying her previous BF and equally a long time before she plunged into a new relationship (with Jun-Wan).
Sigh... I feel so bad for Jun-Wan.
I do as well and that's why despite all the obstacles that seem to have overtaken them, I would like them to give it another go. Especially because Jun-wan wanted it so badly that he broke with his usual pattern.
From a bigger life lesson perspective, there's no really nothing wrong with having to get out of one's comfort zone and learning to be better, more honest communicators. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it should never be attempted. Life is hard for everybody in some form at various times but the right timing is important too.
But I agree that Ik-sun has got her defences up and fears too much vulnerability. To me it's a pity because if these two people can work through their issues there's something good awaiting them at the end of the tunnel. I guess I'm one of those people who don't think that work/career is any kind of substitute for a solid, mutually supportive relationship.
I totally agree with the comments about them. I give them merit that they give it a shot, specially Ik-sun. However, I have a big BUT for them. And it’s the point that Ik-sun never wanted to be married, even with her previous relationship.
This has been bothering me for awhile. I understand that she feels insecure to have a formal/serious relationship due to what she experienced before. Also, that she gave a big step in putting aside her weaknesses or the emotions that a marriage or a relationship conveys.
So, from season 1 I had my doubts on how the relationship Bidulgi was going to work. I give recognize that Jun-wan is a great guy giving her what she needs so the relationship moves forward. And I kind of pity him because he has/had to sacrifice on what he really wants to have in a normal relationship (cherish her not only by memories, marriage, family, etc).
He has to really, but really love her and try to adapt to what she thinks is ideal for her in a relationship.
I have seen cases where spouses have different ideals, goals in a relationship, specially with kids and have serious quarrels because one of the spouses really want to have kids and the other doesn’t.
I know that I’m overthinking things but this is one of the main points that made me that this relationship will have difficulties or it won’t work.
Nevertheless, I hope that they can overcome these hurdles. Specially, Ik-sun because I think that what she decided was not the best choice for them.
No, you're not overthinking things. There's a lot of good common sense in what you say. Honestly I have to agree that it's a tough gig. The foundations are rather shaky and it could be that things won't work out for them because of some of those diverging viewpoints you've highlighted. Besides they're not married with kids so they don't have to work as hard to make it work.
But for Jun-wan's sake, I hope they can negotiate and meet each other half way.
Thanks for your words 😊.
I also hope that Jun-wan might have some happiness with the love of his life without sacrificing much and have a balance with what he wants for his life.
I had been in a relationship where you are more concerned about maintaining peace and harmony and not being honest with each other. I think that's what Bidulgi couple has been. They were technically in a LDR even in Korea. So every moment they spend together whether physically or on the phone, they try to make it a good time. It continues in this pattern when Iksun moved to London - Junwan being too considerate and setting aside his feelings, Iksun too afraid (and perhals also a little self-centred) to fight through anything unpleasant.
But relationships doesn't and shouldn't work like this. For them to come back together, both have to work through these hurdles of communication and being vulnerable with each other. Iksun is facing the biggest vulnerability now with her health crisis. I believe this will be an opportunity for them.
You can sort of understand that on some level too. The time they had together was scarce and precious. Why would they want to waste time fighting or arguing? Especially when they can't be there for each other. But as you say so wisely, they shouldn't fear honesty and being vulnerable if they're equally committed to the relationship.
It is interesting too that all of Jun-wan's fears about Ik-sun's state of health were well-founded. It makes sense because he's a doctor. I was re-watching that scene and she talked about wanting to get out there and see more of the English countryside even while he's telling her to go back to London as soon as she could. It feels like a bit of a wakeup call for both of them.