Why We Tell Stories Part 4: The Art of Forgetting and Remembering

Last night, a seemingly typical 5 years later, multiple births story caught my eye. A young mother of quadruplets … now the head of a powerful conglomerate… returns to town with much fanfare to reunite with the father of her children. That immediately piqued my interest because this type of mother figure would normally rather play a game of hide and seek with the children’s father for fear of losing custodial rights. Sooner or later everyone knows that maintaining bloodlines is vital in these stories. Even when she desperately needs something from him she will lie to the bitterest end so as not to lose her maternal rights. Here she feels no need to. In this instance, she’s got a child suffering from leukemia and another pregnancy is the prescribed panacea. Even as she resolutely insists her claims with her genius sons in tow, the man she allegedly married all those years ago disavows any knowledge of a marriage despite her waving around a marriage certificate. And a load of paternity tests. (Paternity tests are staple in the douyin drama diet) Nevertheless over and over again she’s thwarted and it’s clear that there’s a conspiracy to prevent her from getting to the bottom of things. It’s a humiliating experience for the poor woman who has to endure the slings and arrows of outrageous slurs — of promiscuity (everybody’s favourite form of attack), of her children born out of wedlock, of having multiple sexual partners, of child trafficking and of blackmail. Regardless of what she is put through, the man she names as the love of her life, the father of her children is steadfastly indifferent to the point of uselessness. To be fair though, it’s not entirely his fault.

It turns out to be an amnesia story. It doesn’t seem to be at first. Then it does. Then it doesn’t. Then it does. Sadly it’s an incomplete show so I’m here to tell you not to bother unless cute preschoolers doing smart things are really your jam. Plus the show itself opens up a whole can of ethical worms. Spoiler alert… The father of the children is suffering from amnesia — a carefully orchestrated one to protect him from himself and a particularly nasty relative. Apparently there’s no law and order in this town (although there are cops) so a silly old lady decides that induced amnesia is the best way to protect her grandson from the criminal. It’s a disease of the wealthy. Let’s not prosecute a crime. No. Let’s just dip into the family’s vast resources to solve the problem and hide the dirty laundry while putting the blame on the woman for falling in love with the wrong man.

Amnesia stories in the douyin oeuvre are surprisingly much fewer than one might expect. It used to be the trope of tropes in K dramas when first I ventured into that territory. Making a character forget is often the lynchpin of the plot, often used to conceal a character’s identity/existence for as long as possible. In many instances the aim is to play around with dramatic irony. Like Jang Bo-ri is Here! A classic makjang. A little girl goes missing and loses her memory. A couple of decades later when she’s finally around her birth family, they fail to recognise her. Worse still her own mother humiliates her repeatedly. She’s Cinderella with a twist. But more often the amnesia device is used as some kind of reset button. Forgetting — is the art of starting over — an opportunity to take another stab at the issue. Grabbing the holy grail of a second chance. A man who doesn’t get along with his arranged marriage wife is on the verge of divorce. One night he’s in an accident and when he wakes up, the wife he was indifferent to is the only person he remembers. When she announces their plans to divorce, he vehemently refuses to. Instead he begins wooing her afresh, doing everything and anything to make her stay. The implication here is that there are other forces at work and he’s been given another chance to make it work. It is up to him to save the marriage because the marriage is key to saving not only his life but the family business in the long run. On the down side forgetting allows antagonists to take advantage of the protagonist(s). It’s free for all and it’s a landscape of lawlessness so a myriad of lies and misunderstandings are the order of the day. Until the truth sheds light in the darkness of deceit.

On the other hand, rebirth stories is about remembering. Remembering the evil that was wrought and the “debt” that is owed to the protagonist(s). It’s quite often (not always) a type of Cinderella story that’s repackaged with all kinds of melodramatic tropes. In her first life, she’s lived through a kind of hell on earth perpetrated by her nearest and dearest. Her “rebirth” is preceded by a horrifying moment when she is met with betrayal and a torturous death. In fact her previous life is almost always a morass of deception which are revealed just before she meets her doom. The devastation is complete. Although the Chinese word is rebirth 重生, in actual fact what she undergoes is actually a reset. Her second life isn’t really reincarnation but more along the lines of time travel. She goes back in time to change the outcomes and course correct. It’s a rebirth in the metaphorical sense. All her former beliefs and assumptions about the people around her have been utterly wrong. She was in part responsible for the way that life ended. Armed with memories of her past — what choices led to specific events — she takes her revenge on her enemies, rendering their schemes useless. The best ones of course involve a powerful CEO that’s almost alway in love with her who acts as her 靠山 (backer) because there’s no way on God’s green earth is she able to do everything on her own. The female protagonist that understands her limitations and works in tandem with her male lead is the one that fares best. It’s an intelligent woman who knows she can’t do this on her own. The partnership is key. Each bring something to the table. The male lead is almost always a figure of her past — a bystander, a supporting act or even a cameo in the previous narrative but with her recent interventions is maneuvered into the male lead position. He is her chosen one. So to speak. To partner and to protect. He once met a terrible end not necessarily because of her. Previously her perceived agency was an illusion. She was merely a tool in somebody else’s hand. As the scales fall off her eyes, she gains a certain measure of agency to strategize with her chosen male lead. The memories allow her to predict her opponent’s moves and give up the upper hand in the battles ahead. The victim is given the opportunity to triumph in a highly risky fight to the death in a veritable snake pit.

Remembering here is less about changing history but more about regrets, getting out of a bad deal, switching to the right path and recognizing that spouse that will walk with you right to the very end.

Some recommendations:

This well-made one sees the “reborn” protagonist take her revenge with her cheating ex’s “hot uncle”. Click here to watch. Only utter humiliation and complete destruction will satisfy her anguish at dying in the hands of her enemies. The leads are supportive of one another all throughout and potential misunderstandings are snuffed out very quickly.

Another firm favourite is this rebirth redemption story. The male lead especially well-cast as yet another tyrannical CEO who is married to a woman who doesn’t love him. At first. His gangster vibe serves him well here as he tries to cling desperately to a woman he doesn’t trust. The chemistry is really good considering the size difference. The parallels to Beauty and the Beast are palpable because the male lead has an explosive temper. The female lead is reborn and sets off to change her future as well as that of the man that she married unwillingly. Click here to watch.

This is a nice period one where the leads’ 6-year-old son (royalty) travels to the future to reunite with Mum and Dad. Click here to watch. It’s lovely and the kid is wonderful to watch despite not being the correct age.

This is a more recent discovery. Click here to watch. Here the male lead is reborn as well as the female lead.