It shouldn’t probably come as any real surprise that the great Ling Buyi who is generally good at everything that matters is woeful at small talk. He’s never (as far as we can tell) gone to any trouble ingratiating himself with anyone in his life nor has he felt obligated to. Until now that is. Aside from the odd exception here and there, he has very little stomach for social niceties especially towards those who bear the full brunt of his contempt. Up to now he routinely rubs the right kinds of people the wrong way and it’s a joy to behold him strip bare the hypocrisies of those who have a much higher view of themselves than they should. Ling Buyi is unfailingly loyal to the people he cares about and it follows that anyone who wrongs them will invariably incur his wrath. A case in point. He barely has any relationship with his father whom he despises for being unfaithful to his birth mother and vehemently refuses to acknowledge his stepmother despite all attempts on their part to extend the olive branch. Out of respect and affection, I’m sure, for his mentally ill mother, he maintains his distance from Marquise Chengyang for as much as possible. Furthermore it doesn’t bother him one whit when rumours about his lack of filial piety circulates around the city because he is a man who lives with the certainty of his own choices for good or for ill.
No one can accuse Ling Buyi of not being fair in terms of his total disregard for class affiliation as to who gets a taste of his tongue-lashing. He is an equal opportunity offender that disregards rank, status or even occasion. A principled man is sadly in short supply even in those days. There’s something admirable about the fact that he’s not backward in barking some very uncomfortable home truths in very public places with cowering audiences gawking back nervously. No one can really argue with his impeccable logic or his authority as the commander of the Black Armoured Army. Whatever currency he’s got with the people of Ruyang, he’s earned it with blood, sweat and tears. Moreover, he’s quite prepared to flex those muscles when the occasion arises.
Now that the dust has settled Niaoniao is rather annoyed with him for backing her into a corner on the marriage issue. She agreed to it under duress and now suffering pangs of buyer’s remorse. Or so she says. It’s not that I don’t believe her when she says she wants to be free to be her own woman but I just don’t think that it’s the entire story. A’Yao was a placid fellow and was easy to control. He was eager to do her every bidding, cater to all her whims. Ling Zisheng, on the other hand, is entirely different beast altogether. The point being that he is a beast… of a man. He is a man accustomed to having authority and exercising it at will. It’s not a stretch to believe that she’s both intimidated and resentful. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s genuinely terrified at the prospect of spending the rest of her life with him now that the reality of the engagement has sunk in. She makes reference to his display of raw power at Lou Yao and He Zhaojun’s wedding which is telling. What’s really going on here is not so much that she resents the imposition of his will per se but the reluctant recognition she doesn’t have the wherewithal to fight her own battles and/or challenge him. It’s somewhat galling that she has to rely on him to intervene in order to cut down the opposition in one single stroke. She’s been battling these girls (Wang Ling and Lou Li) on several occasions and they keep coming back at her like the undead suffering no fatal blow from their wounds. On this occasion Zisheng steps in with a touch of fanfare, excoriates Wang Ling for starting unsavoury rumours and promptly airs her family’s dirty laundry to everyone in attendance. It’s deliberately scandalous and calculated to disarm her tattling tongue permanently. Even with all her intelligence and resourcefulness, Niaoniao can’t settle or end this on her own. Neither can her mother. It takes her future husband with his authority and access to dirty secrets to get the job done. Her pride is somewhat shaken. She’s inadvertently made to feel her place. Like it or not she’s not her future husband’s superior or equal. He’s clearly marrying down while she’s marrying up.
What Niaoniao quite likely wants is respect in her own right but there’s definitely a glass ceiling that she can’t penetrate because of the complicated context that she’s in. Her pride doesn’t allow her to bask in the borrowed glory of her future husband who is more than willing to share. She’s wavering because she needs to be his wife by her own merits. She can’t just be the woman that married Ling Buyi the city’s most eligible bachelor. This is undoubtedly a sore point as she’s always had to fight her own battles because she’s never really enjoyed consistent openly loving support from the adults in her life.
However for her to have such doubts also demonstrates that she hasn’t fully understood why Zisheng chose her in the first place and what he means by 非她不娶 (“I simply must marry her or no one else”). There’s definitely room for elaboration on what that looks like in specifics. Once upon a time everyone assumed that Zisheng would marry well. Yuchang jun zhu was the prime candidate. Niaoniao obviously thought so too. He, on the other hand, never gave himself much of a chance until he met Niaoniao. It’s evident that she doesn’t have his certainty that this is the ideal match that he’s been hailing it to be. A person who hasn’t experienced genuine love could quite possibly not believe that a man who has the authority of the emperor behind him would be so desperate to marry her.
Now that they’ve transitioned into a marriage contract situation they are at the crossroads where they have to consider what this marriage should look like in its finer details. Two flawed and broken human beings coming together to establish their own household with all the baggage that they bring to the table has always been the challenge of a lifetime. The show is devastating in its critique of marriages here without rejecting the institution itself. There are all types as Zisheng once noted but happily married types might be more the exception than the rule which has a host of long-term consequences for the children not only in what marriage means to them but how they manage their future relationships of all kinds.
The sterility and barrenness of Zisheng’s and Yuan Shen’s homes are both startling and indicative of the lovelessness that haunts their respective situations. We’re invited to pity them both for having no knowledge of what a functional family looks like. And it certainly explains a great deal as to why these men are so outwardly averse to marriage. With all their faults and problems, the Cheng family are in a much better place than all the other families showcased in the drama. There are actual interactions taking place and they even have meals together. Even though mother and daughter are not on best terms, Niaoniao still has her brothers, her cousin and her dad to provide some semblance of what it’s like to be part of a family. No family is perfect but some families are far more of a refuge than others.
Ling Zisheng who hasn’t experienced life with a complete family for the longest time struggles hilariously to fit in with the Chengs while nervously breaking bread with them. It’s finally his turn to be the butt of clueless future son-in-law jokes. In this context, the man who is good at everything is completely out to sea and groping around for a lifeline. The discomfiture on everyone’s faces is lost on him as he takes control of the meal table talk. The effort is commendable and adorable but he should leave the jokes and fake laughs at the front gate the next time. He’s such a terrifying figure in the eyes of his future in-laws that his social awkwardness is interpreted as sinister intent. Then Grandma enters. Her timing, as always, is impeccable. Her shameless fawning over Zisheng is the highlight of this tension-filled moment. She takes a good hard look in close proximity. He’s male, he’s good-looking. He’s her future grandson-in-law. It’s a match made in heaven. What’s not to like? I doubt anyone’s had the chutzpah to mess around with those cheeks so enthusiastically since he was six. Luckily (for her and everyone else) he finds the flattery agreeable and delighted to repay the compliment in full.
It’s fascinating to see the great and mighty Ling Buyi treated like somebody’s favourite grandson and not mind at all. It tells me that he craves for the warmth of a family even though that’s possibly not his intention in marrying Niaoniao. In his eagerness to please, he addresses himself as Zisheng not the more formal zai xia 在下. It is certainly suggestive that he really wants to be included in that family now that he’s made up his mind to marry their youngest member. It’s consistent with what he tells Han Wu:
She’s an extraordinary woman. A person like me who is trapped in the past should be alone. But if she’s the one who will walk through hardships with me, perhaps it’s worth a try.
It occurs to me that he never imagined that he would ever find someone with a heart strong enough to share his burdens with. He was prepared to stay single for the rest of his life and deny himself the pleasures of marriage because of his mission. If he was ever tempted to marry, it had to be someone not like the others… someone who stands out from the crowd — a woman fit to be the wife of a general who will join him in his efforts to get justice for those who died.
Completely agree and what I love is both of them trying to navigate the differences in their point of views and personalities to try and find common ground it's so fascinating to watch
I love reading your analysis about ZiSheng.
I do tremble in fear and hope he is going to slowly open up his heart to his bride and share his fears and worries with her. At this point, he is mainly in protection mode.
I know what is coming ahead and hiding something devastating from your loved one never bodes well in any relationship.
For now, I am going to enjoy watching General Ling navigate his way through his first (and only) love relationship, learning to compromise and having someone really, truly love him in return, not for his looks, wealth or power.